


The Mini Marauders

by byebyebluejay



Series: Mischief Managed: Marauding Stories [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Hogwarts, M/M, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Mutual Pining, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, cuteness, magical innovation, marauders being clever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 07:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11413206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byebyebluejay/pseuds/byebyebluejay
Summary: The Mini Marauders (just about as close as you can get to wizard internet, just... cuter and fuzzier) began as a way to avoid doing research in the library ever again, but Sirius also decides that they're a good way to keep in touch with Remus over the summer.





	The Mini Marauders

“This is a disgrace, you know.” James was poring through _Hexes for the Vexed_ with disgust written in every line of his face. He had been growing increasingly agitated with every passing hour, and now it seemed he had finally cracked. Four hours in the library was simply too much for James to bear. Remus glanced up from the copy of _Wily Ways of Wayfaring Wizards: A Practical Guide_ he had been reading and quirked an eyebrow at him. 

“What is?”

“This!” James shoved the stack of books that had accumulated on the table beside him over the course of the evening, making the top three slip off. Peter caught two of them, but the first one hit him hard in the head. 

“Ouch!”

“Sorry, Wormtail. Have you had any luck, Pads?” James asked, looking over at Sirius who, out of all of them, had gone through the slimmest stack of books. Sirius licked his thumb, the corners of his mouth turning up as he flicked past another page in his book. 

“Nope. Sorry, Jammy.” 

“What are you reading that for, anyway?” James asked. It was a good question, Remus realized. He thought the chances of finding anything to help them make the Room of Requirement (though Sirius was trying to rename it ‘la Salle de Shagging’) plottable in _Magical Home and Garden Pests_ were very slim. 

“What?” Sirius glanced at the cover of his book, “Well—“ Too slow. James grabbed the top of the book and tugged it down. A copy of _Bike_ magazine slid onto the table. Remus stifled a laugh. Peter was pressing the sleeve of his jumper to his mouth, not quite able to stop his own giggles from bubbling up. James looked affronted, but Sirius’s eyes were glittering. 

“How could—“ He began, but his near-shout attracted the attention of the librarian. Mr. Crebbin’s owlish head turned towards them, mouth pressing into a thin line, and Sirius tutted. 

“Not so loud in the library, Mr. Prongs.” 

“We’ve been working for ages. How long have you been skiving off while the rest of us carry your weight?” 

“Only the last hour and a half. Come on, Prongsy. There’s nothing. We read all the mapping books ten times ages ago when we were making the bloody thing in the first place. There’s nothing left. We’re just not going to be able to get the SDS—“ 

“ROR,” Remus countered.

“—on there. Our successors will just have to find it on their own. I have useful stuff to read.” He picked up the magazine and waved it in front of James.

“You’re just looking at the pictures anyway.”

“Au contraire. I’m reading.” 

“Are there girls in there?” Peter asked. Sirius shrugged.

“Not really.”

“Men?” Remus said, and got another shrug.

“None my taste.” 

“You’ve got a motorbike fetish,” James said, smirking. 

“Yeah? Well, you’ve got a fetish for… red hair and green eyes.” Sirius was wearing an identical wicked grin. Remus thought it suited him better than James. 

“Being in love isn’t a fetish, Padfoot.”

“Like you would know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“You know,” Remus said, closing his own book, having concluded his search of the index and references for any mention of maps or unplottable areas, “Muggle libraries have a way of cataloguing books beyond just the author’s name and the general genre. It’s a shame that it’s so difficult to find useful things in here. Now that the Map is essentially finished, except for the ROR—“

“SDS.” 

“—we could work on creating some sort of reference system.” 

“Moony,” James’s face was grave, “That’s brilliant and all, as usual, but it may be your most boring idea yet.” Peter nodded vehemently. Sirius too looked dubious. 

“More boring than spending evenings and weekends in the library whenever you want to find a way into the girl’s dormitory, or get out of class, or pass secret notes to Lily?” Remus smiled, glancing from Sirius to Peter to James in turn. And that did the trick. A slow excitement was brightening James’s eyes, and Sirius set down his magazine. 

“Efficient,” James said after a moment of thought.

“Useful,” Peter echoed. 

“And probably even more effective at creating a new generation of mischief-makers than the Map. It could suggest fun ideas for the less creative minds. Keep Filch in a job,” Sirius said, “Any ideas how we do it, Moony?” 

“The idea only just occurred to me.” James took off his glasses, massaging the bridge of his nose before rubbing at his eyes with his fists. 

“You know, in a lot of ways it’s similar to the Map,” James said after a few seconds of silence, “The Map knows who is where, and what they’re likely to want to do there. You know, the trick you did to get it to give out the ways to get into the secret passages, Moony. Whatever book look-up thingy we’re making could track the identities and locations of all of the books in the same sort of way. A variation on the homunculous charm. Then we could teach it how to sort the books into categories, like how Moony says muggles do. So if you say something to it…”

“Like ‘how do I fix this stupid map’,” Peter said. 

“Then it will show you the location of books with spells on map making, charm breaking, and unconcealment.” 

“Can’t we cut out the middleman?” Sirius yawned, pushing back his chair a few inches and propping up his feet on the table, tilting backwards, “Can’t we make it so that no one has to go to the library ever again?” 

“Black!” Mr. Crebbin’s sharp hiss startled Sirius, and he nearly toppled over. James’s hand flashed out. 

“Arresto momentum!” And the chair stopped at an impossible angle, giving Sirius enough time to grab the table and right himself. 

“Cheers, Jamie,” Sirius whispered as the librarian moved on, shooting him a venomous look. Peter looked awestruck. 

“Wow. That’s amazing, James. I could never cast a wandless spell like that. And so quickly, too. Incredible. Really incredible.” 

“Well, we can’t all be James Potter,” Remus said dryly, casting a glance at James as he puffed out his chest a bit, running his fingers through his messy hair. Once Mr. Crebbin’s had rounded the corner of a bookshelf out of sight, Sirius jerked his head in his direction.

“See what I mean? This environment is not conducive to fun and undisturbed disruption planning. Can’t we just have the thing learn the books, and then spit out the information when you ask for it in the comfort of your bedroom?”

“I like the sound of that,” Peter said, smiling, “No more notes to get into the restricted section, either.” 

“That’s too much, Pads. How are we supposed to teach it all of that? I’m not reading every book in the library aloud to it, if that’s what it takes. There’s not enough time. We’d all die first,” James said, casting a glance around at the shelves and shelves of books, “Be practical.” 

“Well…” Three sets of eyes rounded on Remus, “We know there’s a spell that can copy massive amounts of information with perfect accuracy. The doubling charm.”

“What? You want to make a library in our dormitory?” Peter asked, giggling, but James and Sirius were still focused on him with utmost solemnity. Remus shook his head. 

“No. What I meant was I don’t have to read any of these books to double them. I could still create a perfect replica with a single quick and simple spell. All of the information is transferred over perfectly, even if I don’t know a single word in any of them. I wonder if there’s a way to duplicate the information inside a book without the book itself. To put a copy of the knowledge itself into the reference we make, which could draw it up as necessary.”

“Wicked,” James said. 

“Brilliant, Moonbeam,” Sirius said, leaning forward an inch, “And then we teach it how to sort the information. And, even better than that, we can teach it problems we’ve had and the spells we used to solve them. It could learn more than just the book stuff. And it could keep getting better the more it was used. What do you think it should be? A little talking cat with spectacles?”

“Get over your crush on Minnie, Sirius,” James scoffed. 

“I don’t have a crush on Minnie! I just appreciate her sharp mind and talent at transfiguration. I admire her, Prongs. Ever heard of admiration?” 

“I’ve been on the receiving end of it, yeah.” 

“You’re such a prat.”

“You don’t have a crush on _Minnie_ , you said? And were you implying earlier that I don’t know what love is? Are you hiding something, Padfoot? From me, your brother?”

“You _prat_.” 

They got kicked out of the library within two minutes. Sirius’s hair was pink and James was sporting an enormous rack of antlers, and all four of them were laughing themselves silly. 

It took three weeks of intense work for them to manage to get Peter’s old toy Crup to recite poems that had had a modified doubling charm cast on them, though once James had managed it first, Remus and Sirius were able to master the technique almost at once. Peter’s efforts were still a work in progress. Sirius, who had always had the most flair for transfiguration, modified the toy Crup into a dog that looked very much like his own animagus form, which bounced around, insulting anyone who came near it in particularly vulgar French but also reciting “The Tale of a Lazy Little Witch” and “The Seeker’s Verse” on request, and then, with more prodding and a lot of tinkering with the delicacies of the charm-work on Remus’s part, to recite “The Miserable Ode of Quivering Quintus” when asked for a story about a coward, and “The Ballad of Angry Angus McMangus” when prompted for advice about impatience. 

It was Remus who suggested the protean charm—the idea being that each of them could copy information into their own enchanted reference and transfer it to the others, and the work could be done that much faster. Soon enough, Sirius had transfigured three more (somewhat clumsier) animals out of his, James's, and Remus’s pillows, and the four meandered about, Peter’s rat making rude noises, and James’s stag insulting itself until James managed to get it to shut up. At first Remus thought that Sirius hadn’t tampered at all with his wolf, but he caught it, once, when Sirius was preening in front of the mirror, going up on its hind legs to say, “You have very nice hair, Padfoot,” in Remus’s own voice. Sirius had looked at him and beamed. 

As it turned out, there was less information to copy into the animals than they had anticipated, despite the fact Peter still couldn’t seem to get a hang of the modified doubling charm. Sirius and James blazed through the entire restricted section on two consecutive full-night trips under the invisibility cloak, leaving them ashen-faced and dark-eyed but victorious. Cutting out the sections of the library devoted to literature, history, languages, astronomy, and care of magical plants and creatures saved a good deal of time. In the end, by the time summer came, they had taught the Mini Marauders everything that they deemed really useful in the library. 

“My parents have a decent collection of books,” James said on the train back to King’s Cross, toying with the antlers of his miniature stag, “Lucky we’re of-age now. Sirius and I can do them. And if we visit anyone with books, we can add those too.”

“There are muggle books with non-magical solutions to problems too. For the underage mischief-maker who wants to get into trouble over the holidays without alerting the Ministry,” Remus said, pensively, “I’ve got a library card. I’ll add in anything that looks useful.” And maybe a few of his favorite stories, too. Whether by mutual design or Remus’s efforts and Sirius’s indifference, Remus had ended up with the original Padfoot-based model, and Sirius had the wolf that had been transfigured from Remus’s pillow. So, if Remus requested a story… well. It would be a little bit of a guilty pleasure to hear Sirius’s voice reading it. 

That night, lying in bed, Remus touched his wand to the black dog’s brow and murmured, “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.” At once, the dog pricked up its ears and straightened its posture, all formality, and said:

"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, purveyors of aids to magical mischief-makers, are proud to present The Mini Marauders: the Padfoot model,” And then, flopping down on its belly on the bed beside Remus, “Hi Moonbeam. I don’t mind that you stole Mini Padfoot from me. I wanted Mini Moony anyway. Moony smells like you. Padfoot smells like Wormtail. And I know that you can’t tell but I can.” Remus chuckled, rubbing the little dog’s head. It rolled onto its back, tail wagging. 

“I guess he was prepared.”

“What? Who? Oh! Moony, it’s me. It’s not Mini Padfoot. It’s… regular Padfoot.” Remus stared at the dog, dumbstruck, but it only lay there, tail wagging as though it wasn’t aware that, last time he checked, the Mini Marauders had certainly not been capable of that. 

“When did you enchant them?” He asked, cautiously scratching the dog’s soft belly. 

“After you stole Mini Padfoot. I thought, you know, James and I have the two-way mirror. I wanted something to chat to you with, too. I miss our midnight talks during the summer. You don’t mind, do you?” He sounded concerned. 

“No, of course I don’t mind,” Remus said quickly, “I was just surprised. That’s all. This is… it’s nice. Though, is there any way to turn it off? Just in case I…” He trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence. He could hear Sirius smile. 

“Oooooo. Moony. What sort of mischief are you planning on getting up to with Mini Padfoot?”

“Nothing, per se. Really, Sirius,” Because Sirius had started laughing loudly enough that Remus was worried he was going to wake his parents, “Just in case I want to do research without being disturbed.” Or listen to Sirius read _The Importance of Being Earnest_ without the real Sirius finding out. 

“Just tell Mini Padfoot you don’t want to be disturbed. He’s very good at listening to directions.”

“So he doesn’t take after you, then.” 

“Oh, haha. The very height of humor as always, Rem.” There was a lull. Very distantly, Remus could hear Mrs. Potter calling to James. 

“What is Mini Moony doing?” He asked at last.

“He’s curled up, all sweet and cozy on my pillow,” Sirius said, and Moony heard a soft sound that was unmistakably a kiss, “What’s Mini Padfoot doing?” 

“Being a complete ham. Begging for attention.”

“See? He does take after me,” Another kiss, “What are you doing?”

“Getting ready for bed. I’m tired. There’s a full moon in two nights.”

“I know… Do you mind if I just stay here for a little while? We don’t have to talk. I just miss you.” 

“You just saw me a couple of hours ago.” 

Sirius groaned very loudly, “I know. It’s a real problem. Why did you go home? Can’t you come live with me and Prongs?” Remus laughed, trying to keep the ache out of his voice. He missed Sirius too. It probably wasn’t normal to miss your best friend this much, not like this. Different and strong. It felt much more like a crush, and he wondered how much the hollowness in his chest, which felt so much like homesickness, resembled whatever Sirius was feeling. 

“I don’t think so. Sorry, Sirius.”

“Damn. Well, it was worth asking.”

“We have this, though.”

“This is just reminding me how much I miss you,” Sirius groaned, and some part of Remus agreed. But the alternative seemed worse.  
“We could stop, if you wanted.” 

“No, no!” Sirius said, voice urgent, “It’s helping, maybe. I don’t know… Nine weeks, anyway. Not so long.”

“Not so long,” Remus echoed, “And I can visit.”

“Yeah, just floo right over. Easy peasy. You could see me right now, if you really wanted to.” That thought did ease the throbbing in Remus’s chest. 

“We’re just a minute away. And you’re right here, anyway, really. Your voice.”

“Yeah,” Another kiss, “You should get some rest, Moony.” 

“I should.” But he didn’t want to stop talking.

“Oh! I taught Mini Padfoot a trick. Tell him to give you a kiss.” Remus grinned, and did as Sirius asked. 

“Mini Padfoot, give me a kiss.” The little stuffed dog leaped to its feet, bounding onto Remus’s chest to nuzzle enthusiastically at his cheeks. It had no tongue, but Remus got the point. Giggling, Remus gave the dog a squeeze, very much charmed. 

“It’s very cute, Pads,” He said at last. 

“Not as cute as you. You’re the cutest. The cutest Marauder. With the cutest giggle.” Remus was glad Sirius wasn’t there to see him flush. 

“How many superlatives do I have now? Three? Cutest, safest, smartest?” 

“More than that,” Sirius countered, “Tallest, nicest, best-smelling.” 

“Oh of course. How could I forget?” 

“How _could_ you? If I were you, I’d never forget.” 

“Thank you, Siri.”

“Don’t thank me. I don’t think I can help myself.”

“It still means something.” There was another long lull in which Remus could only hear the sounds of Sirius breathing, and a distant rattle of pots and pans. He held the dog tight to his chest, where it lay its head down and made a sound like it was yawning. “I’m going to try to go to sleep now,” he said at last.

“Okay. I’ll be here. At least until Mrs. Potter calls me for dinner.” 

“Goodnight, Padfoot.”

“Goodnight, Moony.”

And Remus fell asleep as quickly as he ever had at Hogwarts with the real Sirius at his side, the dog still and warm against his chest.


End file.
